Haiti Devastation: An On-the-Ground View and How You Can Help

Hurricane Matthew is making its way to the Florida coast, but lives have been devastated already.

Today, I want to share with you a message from a priest in Gandou, Haiti. A friend's cousin runs her Indiana church's Haiti ministry to help this village. Please read this. Pray for relief efforts in Haiti and all other places affected by Hurricane Matthew. Help if you can.

"IT is with great sadness that I send this message after the devastating cyclone that Matthew is terminated Haiti. The words to express the damage this terrible devastating cyclone fail us and we always fail, because it is unimaginable to see in so little time a country knelt and saw his destruction of state as if there was a war in country.
Gandou take such a community that previously was very vulnerable in terms of poverty of the population today, hit the entrails with the passage of Matthew.
At Gandou there is more garden beans, corn, everything is washed away that come in the hills. And the wind is still considered for the inhabitants of Gandou, the greatest enemy even when there is no cyclone like this.
I announce, population Gandou does not know yet where to go.
No roads, drinking water problem.
Animals such as goats, beef, especially mule representing much of the wealth of people Gandou are all washed away by heavy rains caused by the cyclone.
The extent of damage is invaluable.
I promise to send some pictures, but I hope you have the sad courage to look.
For now, there is no telephone network that works Gandou.
No Internet. There is not even a road for donkeys, let alone motorcycle or vehicles, perhaps in the next three months. For now the feast of the community Gandou is not a priority. What is priority now is food, medicines, sheets, nails, cash for work, to support the most needy population.
I count on the support of every living inhabitant of Indiana in particular, the parish of Saint Anthony, my sister parish. I have not had time to greet you but I hope you understand me because the situation is really precarious painful sad and painful.
May God bless you United States, Indiana, and everyone"
Fr. Reginald Voltaire

If you would like to support Haiti relief efforts in Gandou, St. Anthony Catholic Church in Morris, Indiana, works directly with the community there. Checks to St. Anthony Haiti Ministry can be mailed to St. Anthony Catholic Church, PO Box 3, Morris, IN 47033. Please specify hurricane relief.

Frugal Friday #6

Happy day before Halloween! I'm sure your children are wound up about fall parties and Halloween celebrations at school as well.

We've been trying to keep our Halloween celebrations on the frugal end as well. Here are some of the things our family has been doing:

Our Girl Scout and classroom party admittedly featured the same activities. (Buy once, use twice, right?) We're upcycling a ton of toilet paper rolls for our $1 spooky craft and are playing the "Bag of Bones game" in the classroom today.

Halloween costumes have been homemade creations too. My son was a ninja for one party but has since decided to trick or treat as a skeleton. Both came from his closet (we bought skeleton pajamas on clearance last winter.).

My daughter went as "Night" to the scout party and may still raid her closet to be Luna Lovegood for her friend's party.

And as per tradition, we'll be greating trick or treaters tomorrow with Happy Meal toys, party bag trinkets and other items.

How are you having a frugal Halloween celebration?

Frugal Friday #2: An exercise in patience

I confess, my Frugal Friday post is a bit late, but not without reason. We've been dealing with illness the last two weeks in our home, and sometimes blogging just falls lower on the priority list.

This week's frugal accomplishments:

1. Sold an extra pair of snowpants to a grandmother on the employee classifieds. Found out that her family's home had burned, and we're able to bless her granddaughter with some additional clothes from my daughter's closet.
2. Carpooled to son's friends' birthday parties. (Sadly, yes, plural. We actually turned a third friend down for today. Too much!)
3. Ate leftovers. (Sorry, it is an accomplishment, it's a tough habit to embrace.)
4. Put my faith in God by putting in a contribution at church. It was a little one, but the habit of sharing, even when it is tough, is one I need to re-instate. I will try to build up to tithing eventually but am embracing consistency over quantity first.
5. Documented all mileage for donations and volunteer hours for taxes.
6. Had a "playdate" with my daughter and her friend that actually was a community service project vs. a go out and spend money activity. They loved making a difference in our community!
7. Reached out to my fellow Girl Scout leaders to see what supplies they could collect in advance of an upcycled ornament event we are doing in December. (Being frugal, though it's not my money!)

What accomplishments did you have this week?

Frugal Friday: My little moments

I've decided to start journaling our family's frugal moments on a weekly basis. As we are now beginning our third month of unemployment, and were denied unemployment assistance by the state, we are having to buckle down even more. By journaling my moments, I feel like I can take more ownership of our family's situation.

Frugal accomplishments this week:

1. I took my son shopping. More specifically, Christmas shopping. Each of my children had received a Toys R Us gift card as a thank you for their participation in a project. My son's first reaction was "I wish it was more" - a typical 7 year old reaction, but one that made me cringe. After some thought and prayer, we approached each kid with the idea they could use the gift card - to buy a Christmas gift for their sibling. He was not allowed to spend over (other than tax, which I would cover), and it was a great way for him to learn about budgeting and decision-making. It was a treat to take my son shopping (before the mad holiday rush) to let him casually, determinedly discover his best gift idea for his sister.
   
2. I sent my brother to space. Yep, the little boy who went to space camp and dreamed of being an astronaut has now grown up to be a computer geek...who visits NASA for fun on summer vacation. So what do I get the brother who has everything? His name on a mission to Mars. (And you can too, but NASA's cutoff is Sept. 8!) So for Christmas, he's getting a framed boarding pass, hopefully with a space camp photo from his childhood.
   
3. I came clean. Birthday parties seem like they are every week in September, and they can quickly become budget-busters. I sent a message to each of the moms, explaining our situation and asking what ideas they have for smaller things we could get. All have been gracious.
   
4. I asked for prayer. We cannot live in this world on our own, and I'll admit this week has been difficult on a number of levels. When I hit my lowest, I reached out on social media, asking for prayers and support. Reaching out does your heart and soul good.
   

What frugal accomplishments did you have this week?

Prayers for a trial

This is the part where things get real.

So often I tend to stick to the "happily ever after" posts, sugar coating what is happening in my life. It's easier to write simple stories on faith or my children's adventures in scouting.

But life is not always easy.

For several years, our family has battled with the effects of the Recession:

• years of unemployment
• long-term underemployment
• growing debt as we tried to stay afloat
• uncertainty
• worry, and the worst:
• Depression

We've battled from the brink of all of these. I am proud to say that my small strands of faith helped with this. But it's a battle far from over.

My husband still battles with Depression, and it's far from over. He suffers from what we call "Bad days." It's when he hides in his hole, barely able to come out.

He lost his job two months ago, unrelated to his battle with Depression. And he's had two interviews but no successes. Two months later, we are still waiting to see if the state will even give us unemployment.

It's a tough battle. It's an uphill road of faith.

And this is where I ask you for help.

I need prayers.

Prayers for my husband to find faith, faith in himself, faith in God, through this trial.

Prayers for my young children, who are again having to grow up too fast. 

Prayers for me, while I try to balance work and the challenges at home with the extra cross.

Thank you. And if you list your requests below, I'll be sure to pray for you as well.

How I'm not paying for school supplies - thanks to ibotta

School supply lists get longer each year. And the costs keep going up.

This year, between two students, we're being asked for three dozen folders, one box of specialty brand colored pencils for art and two sets of headphones for the computer room. And that's on top of the traditional school supply lists we've grown accustomed to.

I printed off my children's lists and groaned at the length, and wondered how I'd afford it all.

And then I relaxed, realizing I don't have to worry at all.

For the last year, I've used the ibotta app to submit receipts for everyday grocery items I buy. Granted, there are many, many name-brand groceries I don't purchase, but if I am buying it anyway, or even better partnering with a Cartwheel discount or paper coupon, I take advantage of this service.

Dollar by dollar, quarter by quarter, I've amassed more than $125 toward my school supplies, which I'll be cashing out soon for a Walmart gift card. And that's with doing very little effort. 

By submitting rebates on everyday items like milk, eggs and orange juice throughout the year, I've saved enough to pay for most of my school supply shopping this month!

Groceries and beauty/wellness products are the biggest categories on ibotta, but you can also score with discounts for baby supplies, specialty gifts, sports items, restaurant chains and clothing from major retailers like Macy's, Kohl's, Target and Cabela's. 

Online shoppers will love it come Christmas shopping season, when you can often get rebates of $5 to $15 off of $50 to $100 purchases.

But it doesn't take much effort to collect funds for this year's school supply shopping. You can scroll the item list, check out a task to unlock a rebate and then scan in your receipt after your purchase.

Ibotta recently launched cash back on any brand, which is a blessing. I can even get discounts on produce like bananas and lemons.

 If you'd like to check out ibotta, visit my referral link to get started: https://ibotta.com/r/ghueqyw

What's the best deal you've scored through ibotta? 

Lego Birthday Party on a Budget

Birthday parties are a cause for excitement - and discouragement.

Excitement for the little ones. Discouragement due to the messy house and even messier costs of excitement.

I've always tried to limit the costs of my child's birthday party to $75 or under, but I know there has been some budget creep. 

This year, when my son wanted a Lego theme for his seventh birthday, we went for it. 

We brought out every Lego in the house and set up a building zone in the toy room.

We let the boys watch The Lego Movie and munch on bowls and bowls of freshly popped popcorn while it rained.

We had plans for a low-key homemade cake with a small Lego figure and vehicle on top. When the cake crumbled - literally - we went to a plan B  - Lego "cup"cakes - literally frosting and cake pieces in a cup. Those first-graders gobbled it up.

And when the rain finally came to an end, we took advantage of the still-warm weather to play games on the driveway.

Our goodie bags were replaced with a bag with a thank you note, a Lego Ninjago DVD we got on Black Friday, and a copy of the Lego magazine (which we received for free just by emailing the Lego company.)

Did anyone notice there was no bounce house? No unique location? No wild activities? 

No. These were just boys having a good day.

Just remember: Bigger isn't always better. 

Budget Star Wars Jedi Party for Our Boys

The Force should be with all birthday party planners.

A December birthday is a tough act. Most years the weather doesn't cooperate, and the spirits are high with the over-sugared, over-active Christmas season.

But when our 6 year old wanted a Star Wars birthday, we knew we could make it happen.

The great thing is we pulled this party off on a budget. Here's how we did it.

Cake: 
I'm not afraid of making the "homemade" birthday cake out of a box mix. Rather than pay for a high-price bakery, we frosted the cake and put a small Lego Star Wars figure on top for a decoration. (Sorry, I just can't do all the Pinterest amazing cakes, nor do we necessarily have to!)

Pinata:
We splurged and did a pinata (something I rarely do). There was a party store going out of business, so we took a pinata and converted it to Darth Vader with a little paint and creativity. Poor Darth got a beating out of him both during the pinata game and after.

Costumes:
Yes, we pulled out all the stops, including Jedi costumes for the boys. Lest you think I have great skills, these entailed a large-sized brown T-shirt and inflatable light sabers from the party section at Target.

Activities:
Jedi training was the name of the game. And even though the weather outside was frightful, we had plenty of activities to keep the boys busy.

We laid the ground rules early. As part of our training, after each training session we went to the "Jedi circle." We then did silly party games like keep the balloon in the air using your Jedi skills, light saber training, a training maze created by the girls, etc.

At the end, we watched part of the Star Wars movie until parents picked the boys up.

You don't need fancy or high cost to do a party that the boys will remember...even if it's like the boy at the left who told me a year later that he liked everything but the light sabers should not have been pink!

Slaying Debt in 2015? This Book is For You

Getting rid of our credit card debt has been a dream of mine since my husband was able to return to work a few years ago. But the details made it tricky. Getting half his former salary, combined with the expenses of Catholic school (a priority for us as well) and the unexpected expenses, and our debt, despite our efforts kept trickling up.

I'll admit it. I've been frustrated. I've been angry. I've wondered more than once, How could this happen?

But I'm relieved to learn I'm not alone. Recently I read - and re-read - an advance copy of Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After, written by Indiana author and blogger Cherie Lowe.

Here's the thing: It doesn't matter if your debt happened over a big mistake, a lot of small mistakes or misfortune. The reality is you can get out of it.

Here's what I love about Slaying the Debt Dragon: It's a book filled with baby steps, hiccups and great advice. I love that Lowe comes clean about the impact massive debt has on her family, her marriage, her faith and her sense of self. And I love that she has a success story to share.

Lowe's story is about a leap of faith and a series of small changes that over time built her family's success in paying off $127,000 in debt. I've read this twice already - once just after it arrived, looking for small tips to glean and try, and a second with new eyes after getting a small raise. What can I do differently? The answer is it starts with a plan and ends with consistency. But a little sense of humor never hurts too.

Unexpected Blessings and Leaning on the Lord

I will never begin to understand God's timing.

I will likely never understand why we went through three years of unemployment and then several years of underemployment. Why we built up debt just trying to stay afloat.

I will likely never understand the rocky last year and a half we have had, dealing with injuries, illness and depression.

But in a small way, we've been blessed.

In recent months, I've slowly began to realize that I need to lean on the Lord. Hard. If Catholic school is a priority for our children's education, we will make it so. If medical bills are a priority, we will make it so. But the combination of the two was deadly. And I leaned. And leaned. I asked God to just show us how.

It's a question I've asked again and again the last six years. I've stumbled, I've fallen. I've hoped.

I even joined on the book launch team for Slaying the Debt Dragon: How One Family Conquered Their Money Monster and Found an Inspired Happily Ever After, in the small hopes of finding that nugget of inspiration that could get us through the coming months.

And somewhere between my readings and prayers, something happened. Something moved.

My husband got his first job interview in more than two years. We'll hopeful that it's the right opportunity, as it would mean better hours and a much shorter commute as winter approaches.

And I got blessed with an unexpected raise. I'm shocked. And grateful. And having to look at our budget (which was still all in my head) in a whole new light.

We could do this.

We could pay our debts off.

We could be free.

I'm hopefully optimistic.

Rebates on Christmas shopping with Ibotta

I confess: I'm in love with Ibotta. This app has helped me accumulate rebates on things I usually purchase (like milk, bread or eggs) as well as other grocery items the last several months. Now that Christmas is coming, I'm able to cash out those rebates for gift cards or a PayPal or Venmo deposit.

But if you're still shopping for Christmas gifts, now is the time to check out this app.

This month, Ibotta not only has rebates on online purchases, but it also has a deal for people who earn $10 in rebates, and our team earns $10 in rebates. So, if you did an online purchase, say $100 at Kohls.com, you'd get the $10 rebate that's already offered, but you'd also make progress toward YOU receiving another $10 in rebates.

What can you do to earn $10 in rebates?

Holiday shoppers can earn it with:

• $10 back on $100 purchase at Kohls.com.
• $10 back on $100 purchase from Nordstrom.com
• $10 back on $100 purchase from LandsEnd.com
• $10 back on $100 purchase from Macys.com
• $15 back on $100 purchase from White House Black Market
• $10 back on $75 purchase from Cabelas.com
• $10 back on $100 purchase from Champs.com
• $15 back on $50 purchase from Delias.com
• $5 back on $100 from Clarks.com
• $5 back on $100 purchase from Forever21.com
• $5 back on $50 purchase from Express.com
• $5 back on $50 purchase from JCPenney.com
• $5 back on $50 purchase from Lids.com

When someone you love needs help at the holidays

"To learn to give, you have to learn to receive," I was told by a wise nun years ago.

It is the toughest advice I ever had to swallow but one I think I benefit from each day.

I had a baby and a three year old, my husband was out of work, and the Great Recession was in its beginnings. Everyone was scared. And so was I.

This was the year that Christmas came from loved ones - and many secret Santas I'm still grateful for. They blessed us with diapers, clothes, toys for the children. I spent that Christmas day in half tears, devastated by the fact we ourselves couldn't provide things for our family. The Kroger gift card - giving us a week's worth of groceries - drove the point home. Never intended, but our situation was too raw.

I learned my "lesson" that year and despite our financial situation tucked away a few things over the year (clearance summer clothes, etc.), determined not to be empty under the tree. But it took even longer for me to learn the real lesson.

Whatever we have - no matter how little - is a gift from God, and we always have the chance to grace others and share blessings.

Here are some ways we've learned to bless others - and some tips for friends and family who are on the "other side" wanting to help: 

Blessing Others When You're Broke

• Time and talent: I always try to remember that in our church they talk about gifts of not just treasure - but also time and talent. (Note that you'll often hear "treasure" last of these tree!) Gifts of time and talent can make such a difference - whether it's donating time to a charitable organization or making an upcycled gift.
  
  In the last few years, while we try to recover from our financial upset, we have redoubled our efforts to help, whether it's at school, scouts or church. Not only does it provide needed volunteer support, but my children will remember that mom and dad were there! Maybe you can't donate to the Angel Tree, or perhaps you yourself are benefiting from it; instead, can you help wrap gifts or deliver them?
  
  The gift of time is simple too. While I don't do gifts for friends, we do invite them for cookie making - treasured time when everyone is so busy! Or offer to babysit one night for a dear friend.
• Use ExtraBucks wisely. As we don't have a lot of extra money right now, we are very careful in what we can donate. But those ExtraBuck deals can bless others. Now I buy nearly free diapers for our Gabriel Project at church or free foods or medications for the church food pantry. Every bit helps.
• Reach out and ask how you can help. I believe people naturally want to help others but sometimes we need to give them the opportunity. A woman at church knew a family whose home burnt. She certainly couldn't help them in all the ways they needed, so she reached out. And we reached out. A few phone calls later and I had not only clothes for one daughter from us but also clothes for a son and decorations for a Christmas tree I had heard was being donated to the family. 

When Your Family Is Financially Struggling 

• Don't be afraid to ask what they need...and gently encourage them to share. Do the kids need new shoes? Pajamas? Maybe they need diapers (or maybe cloth ones they can reuse?) or gas cards?
  
  Be specific. Saying to let me know if you need anything, or asking what I can do to help may not get you far.
• Help meet emotional needs. While you're not a therapist, even something as simple as movie tickets and an offer to watch the kids for a night can give parents the emotional break from the constant worry of a situation.
• Be practical without feeling"practical." Sure you could buy groceries, but you can also buy a basket of locally made spaghetti sauces, breads and salad dressings (for example) from the winter farmers market or buy a gift certificate to a local produce delivery service. It makes the ordinary - cooking and worrying about feeding the family - feel a bit more decadent.
• Consider gifts of experience instead of stuff for the kids. One year, my mother bought the kids soccer and dance lessons at the parks department instead of toys. She likely even saved money than when she bought stuff, but more importantly, the kids felt a little more "normal" and for once weren't turned down when they asked to do an activity. We've tried to continue this tradition when we could, asking for a drawing class through Girl Scouts, for instance.
• Take the focus, if you can, off money. Invite a family for a popcorn and Christmas movie night at your house, take them to a free or low-cost Christmas event, go caroling or looking at the Christmas lights, or invite the kids out for an afternoon of sledding.
• Remember, while they appreciate any assistance , it's also hard to receive. Being in a position of constant worry is difficult, and it's hard to learn to receive gracefully.

Please help others help their loved ones! Share your tips below.

Keep the Happy in Your Holidays: It Starts Now

As Christmas approaches, I admit I've worried about the holiday season more than I have had in years.

In fact, I'm almost as anxious about it as in the years my husband was unemployed. Rising expenses, my husband's student loan coming due without an increase in income, and thousands in medical bills from this summer have left me uncertain.

Sure, I did some planning ahead. For years, I've slowly bought gifts for my children, taking advantage of seasonal sales and gift certificates from Amazon. Yet as the days tick by, I become more anxious. What can I affordably buy for my family that's meaningful and they'd enjoy? How can we celebrate the season without going overboard on time or costs?

I had a great reminder by reading Cherie Lowe's e-book Keep the Happy in Your Holidays: 21 Ways to Save Time, Money, and Your Sanity This Christmas Season. This easy-to-read e-book walks you through the holiday season - from Jan. 1 (planning for next year!) through Black Friday through the post-holiday sales.

But, more importantly, it speaks to those days between the Christmas shopping events.

Keep the Happy in Your Holidays reminds us of the accumulating costs of the little things: wrapping paper, hostess gifts, side dishes for a potluck, family pictures, traveling to friends' and families' homes. It offers alternative solutions to help you reduce those costs if you hadn't planned ahead financially for this holiday season.

I love also that your "Happy" is also a focus: your emotional happiness, your spiritual happiness. Reducing stress and refocusing on the real meaning of the Christmas season and traditions that truly are meaningful for your family.

Cultivating contentment at Christmastime isn’t for cowardly lions. It involves intentional and sometimes difficult discussions throughout the year, not just on December 24.

You can pick up Cherie Lowe's e-book Keep the Happy in Your Holidays: 21 Ways to Save Time, Money, and Your Sanity This Christmas Season on Amazon for $1.99. There are also extra freebies at http://www.slayingthedebtdragon.com/happyholidays.

Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links, and I did receive a review copy.

What tips do you have for reducing stress - financial, emotional and scheduling - during the Christmas season?